1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,200 Little old lady got me late, late last night. 2 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,700 Must be the werewolves of London again. 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Ah -woo! 4 00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:15,480 Werewolves of London. 5 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,500 Ah -woo! 6 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,500 Ah -woo! 7 00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:22,940 Good job, boy. Go lick yourself. 8 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,160 You were. 9 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:37,750 Didn't see that either. 10 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,180 You must really be out of suspects. 11 00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:34,480 Hey, Sam, there's a rumor going around school you're going to ask Brenda 12 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,480 Rosinski to dance. 13 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:36,840 Who's spreading that? 14 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,200 Brenda Rosinski. 15 00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:42,200 Hey, who's Brenda, lady killer? 16 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,860 Remember that girl that beat me in the pie -eating contest? 17 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:46,960 Ooh. 18 00:01:47,180 --> 00:01:48,180 Hey. 19 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:52,360 She happens to be a very nice girl, and she's really smart. 20 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,360 Yeah, you know she can order pies. 21 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:55,810 Do you have any languages? 22 00:01:57,790 --> 00:02:01,890 Okay, so she's not a supermodel, but we have a lot in common. And unlike you 23 00:02:01,890 --> 00:02:04,630 guys, I care more about what's on the inside than the outside. 24 00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:07,290 You got your priorities straight, Sam, and I'm proud of you. 25 00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:09,750 And if you like her, we like her. Right, boys? 26 00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:11,270 Oh, yeah, yeah. 27 00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:14,770 I don't like her. 28 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,130 But you just said. 29 00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:21,310 I lied. She's not nice. She's not smart either. She's a mean, stupid girl. 30 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,600 And if this one says no, I swear I'm going gay. 31 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:26,980 Whoa, whoa. 32 00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:28,340 Nobody's going gay. 33 00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:31,080 I didn't go gay after your mother left. 34 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,020 And it wasn't for a lack of offers. 35 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,940 Ask Angela from across the street. 36 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,480 Yeah, you love her. 37 00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:44,740 No, I don't. 38 00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:47,440 You're always staring out the window at her. No, I'm not. 39 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,920 You put more drool on that window than the dog. 40 00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:54,770 You want to be Mr. 41 00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:56,210 Angela Savage. 42 00:02:58,410 --> 00:02:59,388 Hey, you guys. 43 00:02:59,390 --> 00:03:01,410 Come look what Rose is doing with our laundry. 44 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,610 Why would I take her first name? I don't know. Shut up. 45 00:03:44,010 --> 00:03:45,630 and you take the bedridden fat guy. 46 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:51,050 Hey, what's this here, huh? 47 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,550 You were supposed to have been home an hour ago. 48 00:03:53,870 --> 00:03:54,870 Where have you been? 49 00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:58,530 Your uncle and I just carried an entire family from a burning house. 50 00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:01,670 Sure, help their kids while we're at home starving. 51 00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:04,590 So make a sandwich. 52 00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:06,290 Ourselves? 53 00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:08,590 Just call and order a pizza. 54 00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:11,250 We did. Your credit card was declined. 55 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:15,280 Jimmy, can I borrow 20 bucks? 56 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,720 You kidding me? With your credit? 57 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,220 All right, here you go. 58 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,500 Thanks, Uncle Jimmy. 59 00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:24,420 I'll be home in a couple hours. Save me a slice. 60 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,080 Make a sandwich. 61 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,180 I'm holding an ax here. 62 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:30,920 Little creep. 63 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,700 So, lost another housekeeper, huh? 64 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,460 Yeah. What does that make, 22? 65 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:42,120 Seems like a lot, but you break it down over the whole 10 years, it's only 2 .3 66 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,120 a year. 67 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,540 Has your wife been gone ten years? 68 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:51,920 Boy, seems like only yesterday she put that ground glass in your meatloaf. 69 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,720 Yeah, she was crazy, but one hell of a cook. 70 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:07,580 Hey, Sam. 71 00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:10,700 Angela's across the street. 72 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,780 Oh, really? Because I was just checking out these blinds here. 73 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,050 She waved. What do I do? 74 00:05:31,670 --> 00:05:32,950 Could you move the blinds now? 75 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,380 Askren, she shoots me down, thinks we'd never be the same between us. 76 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,000 You mean with you leering at her through the blinds? Yeah, it'd be a shame to 77 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,000 lose that. 78 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,420 Besides, I want to work out first, maybe grow my hair a little longer. 79 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,720 I should be ready by Christmas, Dan. 80 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,060 Valentine's Day, absolute latest. 81 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,700 You don't need to change, Sam. You're a good guy. 82 00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:10,640 Honest, decent, dependable. 83 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,580 Unfortunately, those are all qualities most teenage girls don't give a damn 84 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:15,580 about. 85 00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:16,980 But women do. 86 00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:19,570 So I should be going after Angela's mom? 87 00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:25,650 No, I mean, most women don't usually appreciate good guys until they're tired 88 00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:26,649 bad boys. 89 00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:27,650 When you're 40. 90 00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:29,030 40? 91 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:33,850 I don't want to wait until I'm 40. When I'm 40, I'll be all... In 92 00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:38,670 that case, you should get your butt across the street. 93 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,890 You gotta be willing to risk a no if you ever want to hear a yes. 94 00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:44,930 Go get her. 95 00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:47,820 Wish me luck. 96 00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:49,060 That's my boy. 97 00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,140 You're a stud. 98 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:57,860 I 99 00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:06,020 thought 100 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:07,020 you were in the kitchen. 101 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,600 Yeah. 102 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,680 Chicken. 103 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,740 make some woman a great second husband. 104 00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:33,960 Told you about the housekeeper? 105 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:37,400 Nope. You better hurry because TJ spilled some grape juice on our bedroom 106 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,960 carpet. You just left it there? 107 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,000 No, we put the nightstand over it. 108 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:45,660 That nightstand was covering the hole you two morons cut on the floor when you 109 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:46,920 were looking for a portal to hell. 110 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:52,450 I'd have pushed you through it years ago. 111 00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:54,850 Pass the butter. 112 00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:58,210 Listen, Dad, before you go and hire somebody, we have some thoughts. 113 00:07:58,890 --> 00:08:03,390 Like, instead of going with another old Spanish lady, we were thinking young and 114 00:08:03,390 --> 00:08:04,390 French. 115 00:08:05,910 --> 00:08:06,910 Young and French. 116 00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:08,550 And hot. 117 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:10,890 Oh, yeah. 118 00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:15,370 Tomorrow I'll go down to the hot young French girl employment agency and find a 119 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,270 sexy girl who wants to scrub our toilets. 120 00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,040 But make sure she's real hot. 121 00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:33,520 Let me ask you guys something. 122 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,380 One day you're going to go off to college. 123 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,200 Or somewhere. 124 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,059 Who's going to cook your meals, wash your clothes, clean your place? 125 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,920 Well, my girlfriend will cook and clean for me. 126 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,320 Okay, but what if she catches you with another girl and dumps you? 127 00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:52,050 Then the girl I cheated with will cook and clean. 128 00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:54,470 I got news for you guys. 129 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,090 Women don't like to cook and clean for men the way they used to. 130 00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,630 Somewhere along the way, they lost the joy. 131 00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:09,690 What are you saying, Dad? I think I made a mistake not teaching you how to do 132 00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:10,509 things for yourself. 133 00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:13,450 So from now on, the savages are self -sufficient. I'm not hiring another 134 00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:14,670 housekeeper. What? 135 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,330 to get your mother back here? 136 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:35,070 All right, 137 00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:37,830 if we each take a room, it'll get done quicker. So, Jack, you take the living 138 00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:40,130 room. You two come with me. Yeah, I'm not cleaning anything. 139 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,690 And I don't think you should either. 140 00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:45,110 You're crazy, Dad. It'll kill us. Now, if we clean this place, he'll know we 141 00:09:45,110 --> 00:09:45,609 do it. 142 00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:46,750 He'll never hire anyone again. 143 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:48,710 Won't stop there. 144 00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:49,990 He'll love it. 145 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,920 aprons for Christmas? There is no Christmas for dead kids. 146 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,760 Yeah, I'd rather be dead than responsible. 147 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:10,520 That makes sense to me. 148 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,360 Do you see how stupid your argument is, Jack? Chris agrees with you. 149 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:18,420 Come on, let's get started. 150 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,900 Aprons for Christmas. 151 00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:24,680 I got one for you. 152 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:27,760 Aprons for Christmas. 153 00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:30,380 It's a slave labor blues. 154 00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:37,210 want an apron for Christmas. Me either. I want a dirt bike. 155 00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:42,810 You guys are crazy. Dad's going to aprons for Christmas. 156 00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:45,530 One size fits all. 157 00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:48,530 No football, no baseball. 158 00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:32,540 mildew, grime. What am I, a scientist? 159 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:37,940 And we were afraid to make dinner because we smelled gas coming from the 160 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,360 It's electric. 161 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,240 Do you guys think I'm going to cave and hire a housekeeper? Just admit it. No, 162 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,320 Dad, we tried real hard. You just have to accept the fact that we'll never be 163 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,420 professional housecleaners. 164 00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:53,540 Yeah, and isn't it more important that we're good people? 165 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,240 Admit it. 166 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:02,760 Admit what, Dad? 167 00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,720 That bitch, you're going in the pit. 168 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:12,120 I was polishing the furniture with that lemon stuff. Honest, smell my hands. I 169 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:12,999 was. 170 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,040 Then Jack said, you're going to turn us into women. And he started singing that 171 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,120 song, Aprons for Christmas. And everybody joined in. It was really 172 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,960 And we all deserve to be punished. 173 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,660 Especially Jack. 174 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:27,620 Thank you, Chris. 175 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,380 I appreciate your honesty. 176 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,460 First of all, I'm not trying to turn you into women. 177 00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:39,260 And second, I'm not punishing anyone. 178 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,220 You guys don't want to learn how to do things for yourselves? 179 00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:43,660 Fine. 180 00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:45,720 Live like helpless pigs. 181 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:58,160 And third, I never want to smell your 182 00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,160 hands again. 183 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,630 Only thing I smell is the sweet aroma of a new housekeeper. 184 00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,910 Hey, Kyle, do you have any clean underwear I can borrow? 185 00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:58,230 No, I lost some of mine in the fire. 186 00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:03,570 Just turn them inside out. That way each pair lasts four days. 187 00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:08,330 You mean two days. Your underwear only has two sides. 188 00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,370 No, four. 189 00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,250 One, two... 190 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:32,860 cups. You can look all you want. 191 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,200 Even maggots need exercise. 192 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,380 Eventually. I know where you parked. 193 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,740 Angela's gone. 194 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,840 So ready to make my move. 195 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,239 No kids. 196 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,080 She sure goes through a lot of diapers. 197 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,600 He's here! 198 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,400 I got you! 199 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,480 Hey, Dad. 200 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,300 Unbelievable. 201 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,620 This is the stupidest plan you've ever come up with. 202 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,460 What are you talking about? 203 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:39,740 This isn't even our trash. 204 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,500 Which one of you is using the denture grip? 205 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,800 Uh, that'd be me. 206 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:54,360 It helps me get a better grip on the football. 207 00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:57,180 Uh -huh. 208 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,020 How about the Vagisil? 209 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:07,020 You're taking this one. 210 00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:09,420 Well, you see... Shut up! 211 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:14,880 All right, I get it. You guys are far... bigger pigs than I ever gave you credit 212 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,520 for. Thank you. 213 00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:24,420 And obviously we can't go on living like this, so... Oh, Sam, I forgot to tell 214 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,660 you. I ran into Angela outside. She looked kind of bored, so I invited her 215 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:29,940 for pizza and a movie. 216 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:33,800 Angela? 217 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:34,899 My Angela? 218 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:35,900 He's bluffing. 219 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,080 It's Angela. 220 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:38,840 Uh, 221 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,750 give me just a sec. The place is a little messy. 222 00:17:44,710 --> 00:17:45,910 Start cleaning now! 223 00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:50,270 Nobody move! 224 00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:55,410 Sam, Dad's using you to get his way. He's trying to drive a wedge between us. 225 00:17:55,430 --> 00:17:57,910 Can't you see? I don't care. It's Angela. 226 00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,730 Angela! Sam, don't quit now. We're winning. 227 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,960 for today? 228 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,199 It's a start. 229 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,420 That was a pretty cool thing you did for Sam, though. 230 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,260 Yeah, well, the important thing is I got what I wanted. 231 00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:27,700 So, do your dad and brothers go to the library every Saturday night? 232 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,840 Oh, yeah. You just try and keep them away. 233 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:05,750 to ask me to the dance? 234 00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,070 Mm -hmm. 235 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,190 Sorry, I have to babysit that night. 236 00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:15,750 I understand. 237 00:20:19,270 --> 00:20:20,650 You want to babysit with me?